3 Ways To Build A Strong Personal Foundation

There are 3 main ways we build a strong personal foundation.  Review these and decide which one you feel the most resonance with.  That’s where you want to begin your work.   Your goal is not to overhaul your life in one huge step.  It’s a process of little baby steps that will get you where you are headed!

So, let’s see what feels like a good place to start!

1. Practice Self Care. This is more than getting a manicure or treating yourself to a spa day.  Self care is about the things you do daily that nurture not only your body but also your mind, heart and spirit.  Ask yourself, “what do I do everyday in each of these areas that says I am important”?

Make a list.  You may find that you do a lot in one area and hardly any in the others.  See where you are falling short and make a list of possible ways you can begin to nurture yourself more.  Then choose one new thing you will implement this week.  Each week choose another new nurturing, self care practice, preferably for another aspect of yourself than the one you focused on the precious week.

When you start to value yourself, then you begin to love and appreciate yourself more as well.  And you will begin to see others appreciating and loving you more in response to the new vibrational energy you are giving out.  Cool, huh?

2. Maintain Strong Boundaries. Before you can maintain your boundaries, you must first decide what your boundaries are!  Sometimes we take for granted that we know where we draw the line when, in fact, we don’t have a very clear idea at all!  So your first step is to decide where your boundaries are.  You can do this by taking a look at what you value and how you want to be treated.

Now that you are practicing greater self care you are more in tune with how you want to be treated, so making a list of those should come fairly easily.  Take a look at what and who you surround yourself with for a quick assessment of your values.

Together these two lists will give you the basis for where your current boundaries are.  Becoming aware of where you are empowers you to see where you want to be.

As you declare your boundaries to yourself and claim them as your own, you will begin to honor them.  And, as you honor them, so will those around you!

3. Eliminate Tolerations. Where your focus goes, so goes your energy.  And your energy is your vibrational output.  When you tolerate negative or bothersome things in your life, it’s as though each of them is a hole in your energy container, and your energy is leaking out these holes rather than being available for focusing on positive, empowering connections.  Your vibrational focus is on what’s not working and what you don’t want.

Sure, you still have some energy left over for focusing on what you do want.  But just think how much more powerful your energy focus would be if all of your energy were channeled positively!

Eliminating the things you are tolerating frees up your energy for more efficient use.  You may already be aware of some of the bigger tolerations in your life.  Think about the little, niggling things that are bothering you, slowing you down, or getting in your way.  Start eliminating these, and as you do, you will have more energy resources for eliminating the bigger tolerations.

As you can see, building a strong personal foundation can take some work.  It’s worth it!  Just like building a house, you can’t put up the walls, or the roof, if you don’t have anything to secure them to.  Your life is like a house.  Your foundation is where you will attach your purpose, creativity, passion, and authenticity.

Unlike the foundation for the brick and mortar house, your foundation can always be a work in progress.  So take heart!  Roll up your sleeves and dig in!

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  • About boundaries, these are the limitations we set for ourselves, for the extent of our giving, for the extent of our loving.

    I live in a multi-cultural environment. I suppose that in a mono-cultural environment one chooses a set of boundaries that matches social conventions well enough, and then one lives within those boundaries, never realizing the amount of life-energy we cut off, but always grateful for the limitations we have put on our outreach.

    That won’t work for me. I need to function in a variety of cultures, four at present, and each of these cultural environments expects different personal boundaries of me. If I were to create and impose my boundaries on others I would be cutting myself off from one or more of those societies. And this is what I do, but I’m not proud of it. I spend much time trying to loosen boundaries, to be present for the people around me in the manner they need. Yes, there are things I won’t do under any circumstances, but other people need to be honored in their society’s way. A little like Jane Goodall honoring gorillas in the wild by interacting in the way they like to be interacted with. Just as the gorillas could not be expected to learn her British social conventions, the Chinese, Tibetan, Yi, and American societies I circulate among just don’t learn each others’ social conventions either. They all like to cling to their own boundaries, and this cuts us off from each other in many ways, some of them tragic.

    So I’m cautious about boundaries. Yes, it is very important to know what our personal boundaries are. You learn about your boundaries when someone else crashes through them. You “hear” the crash and then you know, oops, there went another boundary. It probably was good for something once. It might still be good for something. But you touch other people only when you can melt through their and your own boundaries. And touching people, emotionally touching, is a BIG part of what life’s about. Really big. Failing to contact people is the cause of all those feelings of loneliness, inadequacy, failure, and so forth. Because when you fail to contact (“touch”) other people you loose feedback to your life, and without feedback we go solo in the crowd; it would be better to be living in a cave communicating with ants and mosquitoes (who have no respect for human boundaries) than to be lonely in a crowd.

    What we want is contact, in one of the many ways that we prefer that contact to occur. And we get the “right” kind of contact by taking a leadership position and generating the contact we want. By and large, that occurs through reaching out, in the direction we want to go toward, more than through closing off. It’s a good idea to be aware of the ways in which we reach out, and it’s a good idea not to reach for what we don’t want in people or anything else.

    But building Boundaries? That’s a little like confessing your sins. You do it mainly to get rid of them.